|Standing at attention|
You choose a twirly khaki skirt that you got (on sale, of course) at Rainbow and pull the sweater down over it so the skirt looks extra short and the sweater isn't all bunched up like a fuzzy fat suit. You'd like to wear knee socks with this getup, but unfortunately, the ladylike shoes that make up your entire footwear collection are not going to cut it, so you'll have to go with the chunkiest shoes you have--calf-length brown boots. A dubious color match, but the best you could come up with.
You realize, of course, that you are going to freeze to death. With 2/3 of your legs exposed, any thermal benefit you might gain from the bulky sweater is completely undermined. You have just made a tactical error that could result in hypothermia, but at least you'll go down looking spiffy!