Garden of Eden

Usually I don't get this far into August with many still-unworn clothes left in my closet, but the thrifting has been good this year. By the time I realized the end of summer was upon us, I also realized that I still had many days' worth of summer clothes that I'd never even taken for a spin! So the past week, I've been trying to wear at least one new garment or accessory every day.

Today, to add more challenge to the mix, I decided I simply must wear a dress. I had worn pants on Tuesday, and skirts on Monday and Wednesday, so I felt it was high time to work a one-piece into the week. But my work-appropriate dress collection has been rather small this summer, and the only dress I was in the mood for was this already well worn leafy green one. That meant that my One New Thing for this outfit was going to have to be the shoes.

Fortunately, I had a perfectly coordinating pair of green sandals that would fit the bill. I paid a premium (16$) for these shoes a few weeks ago, because I was feeling the need for a pair of green sandals with a thicker heel, and the heel on these is not only thick, but so enormously deep that it just barely avoids being classed as a wedge. I found it fascinating! So into my cart they went, despite my trepidations about the reptile-skin texture. I'm not a fan of snakeskin, even the fake kind, but just this once, I was willing to overlook it because I loved everything else about the shoes.

But there was one thing I wasn't loving about the outfit I planned with them: it was just too one-note. Green dress, green shoes...even when I go monochrome, I try to incorporate multiple layers and shades of my chosen color, and this look had none of that. I was trying to think of ways to work more color into the outfit when I had my grand idea.

Garden of Eden!

Was it the snakeskin texture on the shoes that inspired me? The pair of snake earrings I found in my Unworn Jewelry Basket? The idea to add some flowers to the dress? I can no longer remember what came first, but before long, I had taken a vague idea and turned it into the most literal interpretation of a theme I think I've ever done, short of a Halloween costume.

To the neckline of the dress, I quickly stitched a couple of fabric flowers I'd salvaged from a friend's old tank top. They add texture, color, and a supporting floral element to the garden-variety botanical print, and they'll be easily removable when I inevitably grow bored with them after one wear.

The shoes, as already discussed, have a snakeskin design, which calls to mind the Biblical serpent. I also put on two snake earrings, even though there is only one serpent in the Garden of Eden story, because I guess every exploration of a theme is allowed a little bit of artistic license. As for the other star players in the tale? Well, you can just call me Eve.

Valerie with a Bee

Today's outfit isn't particularly buzzworthy, but one part of it is! The shoes. Look at those sparkly specimens of Hymenoptera! I might go so far as to say these shoes are bee-dazzled!

I found them online, and I loved them on sight—even before I noticed the most thrilling thing about them: they have the same name as me!

Well, all right, to be perfectly accurate, they have the same name as me, save for one letter—they are called "Balerie."

In spite of the difference in pronunciation, I took a personal interest in my name-shoe, and almost bought it from ShoeDazzle at full price ($22.95) with a credit I had on my account, but held back. Instead, I waited until earlier this month when it went on sale for $13.33 (averaged over the three pairs I bought). 

 

There once was a time when I wouldn't buy flats for more than 9$, but I guess I'm growing up (read: growing old). I now consider flat shoes a vital part of my wardrobe and will consider paying up to 15$ for them, if they're really exciting.

Speaking of exciting, a marvelous coincidence occurred the day I decided to wear my Baleries. You might recall that this isn't the first pair of shoes I've decided to purchase, in large part, because they shared my near-name. Back in 2016, I bought a pair of pumps called "Valarie" and wore them to work on my birthday. Well, today when I wore my new me-shoes to the office, I had no idea that it was also the day my coworkers had planned to celebrate my birthday! Imagine that! The only two times I've ever gotten shoes that basically exist to celebrate me, I've worn them for the day that also basically exists to celebrate me!

Since vanity is clearly my strong point, let's celebrate some more, with a picture of me!

Style.css

Here's a question for you: Is it possible to build an entire conference-worth of outfits, based on nothing but promotional T-shirts, and still look stylish?

That's what I wondered when faced with the imminent arrival of yet another Drupal GovCon. I've now been to this conference 4 or 5 times (and its big sister DrupalCon 5 out of the past 7 years), and every year, it's the same thing. It's a tech conference, and attendees are encouraged to dress casually and comfortably, so usually I wear neutral pants, sensible shoes, and a knit shirt and hoodie every day. It's easy, it's warmish (why are conference centers always freezing?), and I know I can walk around all day in it with ease.

Sometimes I try to mix things up with a floral ensemble, but this year I wanted to challenge myself. Could I go full-out nerdy in my conference tees every day and still feel like the Unfashionista at her best?

That sounds like a Fashion Challenge!

Wednesday

The first day was a no-brainer, because I had the world's best Drupal shirt just waiting to be worn. I've been trying to be more restrained about acquiring free T-shirts lately, because I never actually wear them, but I made an exception for this one, because, well, what dog mom wouldn't wear this one!? At a size XXL, it definitely didn't suit me out of the box, but after lopping off the sleeves and tailoring the sides, it made a cute tank top that I couldn't wait to wear!

wow

To make sure the star of the show (the Doge!) received all the attention, I wore black pants to blend in with the black shirt. I also went with the same black sandals I wore the last time I blogged a conference outfit.

While I was trying to keep the rest of my clothing muted to keep all eyes on the Doge, I figured it wouldn't hurt to highlight the color with some strategic repetition. The earrings were the exact same shape and shade as the graphic on the shirt, and I also managed to rustle up some matching blue sunglasses, for those moments when I was able to venture outside.

I could never blog a Doge shirt without letting my own doges join in on the fun!

Thursday

For the second day of the conference, it was time to debut the official T-shirt from my last conference, DrupalCon Nashville.

The shirt was a fun pink color, which started me off in the right direction, but you need more than a fun-colored shirt to make a fun outfit. Fortunately, I've been absolutely obsessed recently with shopping for "interesting" pants. These pale pink cargo pants are just funky enough to be forgiven for being a decade or two behind the times.

For shoes, I went with white chunky heeled platform sandals. Unlike sky-high pumps, which are my usual go-to, low-heeled platforms don't kill your feet while you're walking around from session to session. I think I've decided that... Platforms are the perfect shoe for a conference (or really any time when you want to look great while still being able to walk around for hours). They both heighten the interest level and heighten the wearer!

Friday

The final day of the conference was here, and I was running out of ideas. I didn't have any unworn conference tees left (my boyfriend had nabbed this year's shirt as soon as I brought it home), so I went with the most interesting of the ones I already had, which was my shirt from DrupalCon Baltimore.

Grey and white? you're thinking. That's your most interesting shirt!? I admit to being a little disappointed when I received this boring-colored shirt in 2017, but a neutral backdrop means you get more liberty for decoration!

The day I got it, I tailored the sides, then spiced up the graphic with a small red rhinestone in the place of the raven's eye. It's easy to overlook, but it's there for those who care to see it. A red-eyed raven meant red accessories, so I went bright and bold with my red jeans (cuffed to a summery length), and a pair of wedge slide sandals with a multicolored strap. These sandals remind me of my youth at the end of the 90's—they're probably from the end of the 90's, but I have been pleased to see that wedge slides are coming back!

I was also pleased to note that, at no point during the conference, did my feet get too cold. Much as I have complained about the climate at conference centers, I was able to stay warm this entire week, even in sandals, and even without the sweaters I brought just in case. Maybe NIH has finally conceded that 68 degrees really isn't the optimal temperature for humans to work in, but whatever the reason, I was happy and comfortable in sandals every day!

Dare I say, this was my most stylish website technology conference yet!?

Theme from a summer

 

As the second half of August drifts away from me, my mind begins to turn to the sad matter of summer's demise. I mourned the end of summer for over a month last year, so chances are good that I'll still see my fair share of hot days before winter. But that can't stop me from getting a little sentimental...looking over the glorious days of this past season, reliving the good times, and reflecting on the themes.

Pretty much every year, I notice a theme or two that dominates my clothing—I've gone on suit sprees, binged on blazers, and harbored an (ongoing) obsession with wide-legged pants.

This summer, while I haven't consciously thought much about it, I gravitated to a style which basically became my go-to work outfit for the season: a flared skirt, a slim-fitting sleeveless top, and some dressy sandals. I could always count on this look when I was busy and/or tired and didn't want to put a lot of effort into outfit planning. The funny thing is, I wore this style so often that it basically became a uniform, and I took it so much for granted that even though I wore it multiple times a week, I never really pictured it in my blog...though I guess Slow Burn and Pink Lemonade count, as well as the outfit I wore with my purple sandals, which I deemed so unimportant I didn't even photograph it until after I'd taken it off.

In today's iteration, I'm wearing a never-worn A-line skirt with a huge floral print and a ruffled hem. The top is the always-useful salmon tank I've had since last year. The sandals are a green pair you first saw in July. The necklace, as you can see, lasted half the day before it became half of itself.

 I'm pretty pleased with the perfect color match between the top and the dress, but other than that, I wouldn't have considered it blog-worthy if I hadn't realized its value as a case study in my Summer 2018 Uniform. So here it is, for old times' sake, before Summer 2018 is but a bittersweet memory.
 

I think I see winter coming...

Happy belated birthday to me

In 2016, I didn't buy myself a pair of birthday shoes, because I'd just bought a house, and I felt that I had spent enough money for a while.

I made up for it in 2017 by purchasing two pairs—one of which was the Julian Hakes Mojito sandal, which I'd coveted ever since I'd seen it for sale in a New Orleans boutique the previous spring.

 

I dithered and dithered about what color to buy my Mojitos in—the original pair had been silver, but there was also a striking blue shade and a poison green that was right up my alley. 

 

I can't remember what eventually decided me on the metallic purple, but it might have had to do with the price, my shortage of purple sandals, or just the idea that a lovely lilac would go with a lot of my clothes.

If it was the latter, I was wrong. The new shoes didn't seem to go with any of my clothes! And after they arrived, the occasion to actually wear them (which I wanted to be special) never arose, and I waited over a year before deciding, as often happens, that the right occasion was right now. Even if that just meant wearing them for an ordinary Thursday at work.

To allow the shoes to do their shining, I wore them with a simple dress in a solid contrasting color. I didn't want to wear any jewelry that would compete with the shoes or the beading on the front of the dress, so I wore something small but, in keeping with the spirit of my birthday, quintessentially me—my teal-and-purple cat earrings!

 

And thus, a year and a week late, my 2017 birthday shoes finally got to be the central piece in my OOTD!

 

All in all, I have to say this particular splurge was a 250-dollar disappointment. The shoes I received were much darker in person than they had looked online, and the hue a little bit warmer than I'd been expecting. Instead of getting a bright, pastel, fun shoe that complements my most playful clothing, I had gotten a dark, exotic shoe that works best with more moody ensembles. While that kind of shoe has its place, the place is a lot smaller than I'd hoped—hence the year of waiting. By the time I wore them, the excitement of getting them had worn off, and as soon as I wore them, I learned they weren't very comfortable. While the heel is actually pleasantly springy when I set my foot down, when I lift it up again, the hard plastic top of the shoe digs into my saddle bone deformity, making them impractical for even short distances of walking. They look much better on their own than on a foot, being rather bulky and bulgy without the negative space to lend them gracefulness.

Will I wear them again? Unlikely, but this won't be the last you see of my 2017 birthday shoes. At some point, the second pair will make an appearance, and I'm making a wish that they will be more suitable for celebrating!

😗🎂

Slow Burn

You only need to take one look at this shirt to know I would love it! It's bright! It's got curlicues! It's tailored and sophisticated! It's sleeveless for summer comfort! And to top it all off, it has a unique old-timey oriental aesthetic with its loop-and-button closure and mandarin collar. Of course I loved it, but you would not believe the work I had to put in to make it wearable!

Being what I deem another relic of the 90's, the sizing on this shirt is a little smaller than that of the present day, making it just a tad too tight around the bust. The buttons, which connected the two sides of the shirt with nary an overlap, allowed it to gape most indecently. An easy fix would be to simply wear another layer underneath it, but that would make it tighter and hotter, which is exactly what I don't want in a summer blouse.

Fortunately, almost all the openings were finished with a large fabric facing, so I felt like I should be able to use that in some way to create a mock inner layer that would only cover the button placket. I tried ironing it in place with no success, then I decided to use snaps.

First, I had to make the facing into a movable flap. I used buttonhole stitching to prevent fraying, and cut it free after the raw edges were thus enclosed.

One snap at the top holds the flap to the inside of the other half.

Now when I wear the blouse, the buttons still gape, but there is a matching piece of fabric behind them to keep everything prim and proper.

It took me months to discover and complete this alteration, and then weeks more before I felt the time was right for a bright red-and-orange top. It looked so fierce and fiery, I didn't want to squander it on just any old day—meanwhile, it was practically burning a hole in my closet!

When I finally did decide to wear it, it ended up being just any old day after all. It was today.

But before I took it out into the world, I had to fix another problem with the fit! Like many late-90's tops, this one was cut short...and while the bust had been a little too tight, there was still plenty of room—too much room—at the bottom end of it.

It flared out slightly above my hips, and I don't know about you, but I hate shirts that do that! Something about that gap skews my proportions in ways I don't even want to waste my time describing. But I will describe a way to deal with it!

The no-sew solution for a too-wide blouse

I think shirts look best when they create a smooth line from waist to hips, with no gap between the shirt and pants. However, If you have a tailored blouse that isn't tailored to your exact proportions, you may find that the bottom portion is too wide and/or too high above your hips.

One solution (and one that I use often) is to tailor the back or sides so they align precisely with your own unique curves.

But stitchcraft isn't always the answer to every problem! You can also simply fill in the gaps with other clothing!

I like to do this with a voluminous skirt worn at the waist. This adds tons of bulk to your hips, banishing the awkward-looking gap like it was never there!

Today, I chose my black tulle skirt to do the job. I felt like black was a good pairing with the shirt, evoking charred wood while the shirt evoked flame.

The blue hair is perhaps a tiny bit incongruous, but I wasn't about to let my new dye job stand in the way of my chosen outfit! I figure you can interpret the hair two ways—either as bluish smoke rising from a conflagration, or as water coming to douse it. Either way, this outfit tells a story!

Let me slip into something a little more beachy

A lot has changed since I was invited to my first wedding as the Unfashionista. Since then, I've been to so many weddings, (I no longer get anxiety before them and) I've practically developed my own nuptial uniform, usually consisting of a cutesy empire-waist party dress (usually pink) that was probably designed for teenagers at Homecoming. Here are some examples from 2015 and 2016 respectively. 

I also have more of the same from 2017, 2016 summer, 2016 spring, and even a picture of a dress I wore to crash a reception in 2013. The routine is getting so old (and old-fashioned!) that this summer, when we were invited to a whopping 3 weddings in 3 months, I expressly prohibited my usual "Paris Hilton circa 2004" aesthetic. Even though 3 of the dresses I bought in my Swap.com shopping spree do sport that look (2 are still pink!), I'm reserving them for later (possibly for never) and focusing on dressing for the current decade.

The first two weddings of the summer have come and gone. For the first, I am ashamed to admit that I wore yet another aughties throwback. I had my reasons, but ultimately they weren't good enough, and the outfit, much like the rest of the evening, was something I'd as soon forget. For the second wedding, I wore an unassuming blue maxi dress that was neither particularly stylish nor unstylish. If I had to describe it in a word, it would be "forgettable." For the third wedding, my last chance, I had to do better! I had to wear a dress I'd be proud to post in my blog!

The nice thing about this wedding was it was going to be held on a beach, and there was no dress code, so I was confident that I could wear anything relatively tasteful and it would be fine. With all the options at my fingertips, I decided it was time to wear, for the first time ever, a slip dress! I've been wanting to jump on the slip dress trend since 2016, but it has proved quite a slippery (pun intended!) proposition. Slip dresses, for all their apparent simplicity, are outrageously expensive, and it wasn't until this spring that I was able to acquire one (actually 2) at a reasonable price.

This particular slip dress was the second-most expensive of my dress-buying spree, at $7.50. I loved it online, but was a little less infatuated in person, as it had an unflattering hemline. I don't know if it has a name—I guess it's the opposite of a high-low hem, as it gets low in the front and high at the sides. So a low-high hem? Whatever you call it, that hemline never looks good.

But aside from the fugly front, the dress was loads of fun! So many colors! It wasn't too hard to alter the cut to do justice to the print. In one of my famous reversible alterations, I hemmed the front to have a straight edge, and tacked the fabric inside at a few strategic points so it wouldn't dangle down. I left the back as it was, so now the dress has a more traditional high-low hem.

While the fit is much looser than I usually feel pretty in, it feels free and breezy, two adjectives that are right at home on a beach. Not to mention, it has an open back, which gives it that little something extra.

Much as I feel un-flattered in flats, I have to say that these black sandals were actually some of the best-looking shoes I could have worn with this dress. Since the fabric had so many colors, the black shoes provided some balance—not to mention their lack of a high heel helped me balance! In another display of admirable restraint, I also wore simple gold jewelry and a solid gold clutch.

 After a summer of disappointing wedding looks, I finally found one I'm happy with. I think this dress was superb (summery, shiny, celebratory, slightly sexy, yet simple) for a wedding in the sand.

Have you heard of Hypebae?

I'm about to disappear on a vacation for a week. That means that even if I wear any blog-worthy outfits (unlikely while traveling!), I probably won't have the time and resources to post them. So here's a little something to keep you busy: a fun game that sometimes ends up fashion-related! The one rule: Whenever you hear a new term for the first time, don't immediately look it up or ask what it means. Instead, listen, observe, and see if you can figure it out for yourself. Sometimes this process happens over several months. When you're satisfied with your own mental definition, then consult your reference material, and see how close you came! 

I played this game with the newest word in my fashion vocabulary: hypebae. The first time I heard it mentioned, it was in some firsthand narrative in which the author was wistfully admiring this particular style of dress without actually committing to it herself. Like any good guessing-gamer, I of course didn't do any research at that time, and quickly lost track of the article. But now that I've heard the word hypebae a couple of times, sometimes in conjunction with pictures, I'm going to take a stab at what it means.

Hypebae (adj.) *[Note: Since there isn't a lot out there describing this supposed trend, I worry that people who search for the word might come across this post. If that is you, don't take the following definition as gospel! It's a guess based on limited information! For a more informed definition, scroll down to the bottom.] Describing a style of dress in which the wearer (usually female) incorporates a number of characteristic components: a strong profusion of athletic elements such as leggings, cropped tanks or T-shirts, and sneakers. Prominent logos of athletic brands are common. Accessories often include angular sunglasses and belt bags worn as crossbodies. The hypebae style is frequently aggressive and masculine, and based in the strong neutral colors of white and black.

Now let's see how I did!

Urban dictionary defines hypebae as "A girl who is dating a hypebeast and wears his clothing." Well, this doesn't tell me too much except that I was wrong about the part of speech that hypebae occupies—it's a noun, not an adjective. But nouns are frequently used to stand in for adjectives, so I'm not going to judge myself too harshly. The part about wearing his clothing gives credence to my theory that the style involves a strong element of the masculine...but to really understand this definition, I guess we'll have to go see what a hypebeast is.

"A Hype Beast is a kid that collect clothing, shoes, and accessories for the sole purpose of impressing others." Well, according to this Urban Dictionary definition, my ideas are much further off base than I thought. Although I picked up on the notion of brand obsession when I mentioned prominent logos, I got the whole focal point wrong. According to Urban Dictionary, hypebeasts are not necessarily all about athletic clothing (although they are "very much into sneakers"), but rather any brand or item that is considered prestigious or hard to acquire.

What is most confusing is that, while a few Urban Dictionary entries strongly emphasize that "hypebeast" is a derogatory term for someone without much actual style, my impression of "hypebae" was that it was an intentional label that women wear with pride.

The existence of a whole website dedicated to hypebae would certainly support that notion, but unfortunately, hypebae.com seems like it has really just co-opted the word to present yet another generic lifestyle site about "today’s female leaders within fashion and culture." Let's take a step back from editorial websites trying to capitalize on a word, to spaces where people are actually talking about "Hypebae style" as a specific phenomenon.

There wasn't much out there. Lookbook had only 9 hypebae looks; Instagram had 903,111 pictures (many seeming to come from the same corporate juggernaut behind hypebae.com) but not much explanation.

I found only two sources that seemed to make an effort at classifying hypebae fashion. One article basically distills hypebae down into 9 essential characteristics, (which is pretty helpful, but it's still written by someone who seems to be an outsider.

There was also a video, which splits the aesthetic into three different distinct types: Heatbae (characterized by branding and logomania) Techbae (characterized by techwear, which as far as I can understand it is high-tech utility clothing meant for extreme weather and sports), and Sportybae (characterized by a casual look, a lot of athletic apparel, and a smattering of visible brand names - basically what I thought hypebae meant). But here's the catch: the person presenting the video is an Instagrammer who never (as far as I could see) even mentions hypebae in her posts.

So is hypebae fashion a real thing? Or is it all a conspiracy between expensive clothing brands and a well placed social media entity?

We may never know, but that won't stop me from sharing my revised definition.

Hypebae (n.) A girl or woman whose personal style leans heavily towards exclusive brands and limited production items, particularly those of an athletic nature or a typically masculine aesthetic. Common elements in a hypebae's wardrobe include sneakers, prominent logos, technical outerwear, and belt bags worn as crossbody bags.

I have to add that one word that kept popping up in my search was "streetwear." I always thought streetwear was supposed to mean "clothing you wear on the street," i.e. everyday clothing, as opposed to formalwear or loungewear. Isn't that what streetwear means? Apparently not. Rather than wait another few months to puzzle out the word's hidden meaning, I looked it up right away. Wikipedia was helpful, but not very: "Streetwear is a style of street fashion rooted in Californian surf and skate culture. It has grown to encompass elements of hip hop fashion, Japanese street fashion, and modern haute couture fashion." So basically streetwear is whatever you want it to be, and hypebaes wear a lot of it.

My dear, you're a peach

I wasn't going to do much for my birthday this year. With an international vacation looming at 6AM on Tuesday, I knew I was going to have to spend my birthday weekend packing and preparing. So I didn't want to take up too much time with an elaborate celebration like I did last year and the year before.

But my boyfriend went ahead and planned something anyway, so I had to invent an outfit worthy of the occasion. Fortunately I have a lot of never-worn fun clothes in my closet, so I assembled several potential outfits and waited to see which one would inspire me.

Obviously you're seeing the one I ultimately selected. I had originally thought it was a little too formal for the casual dinner we had planned, but your birthday is the one day a year when there's no such thing as being overdressed! I decided to run with it.

My first thoughts on this top (which I got as a hand-me-down last fall) were that tube tops aren't flattering on me, and I'd be best off just getting rid of it. But I was too tempted by its unique color, and the corset lacing in the back, which I can never resist. Plus, I had read somewhere that tube tops are supposed to be trendy this summer. I haven't seen much evidence of this claim, but it's a good enough excuse for me to wear one! This tube top reminds me of orange sherbet, and by pairing it with my milky ivory tulle skirt, I felt like I was channeling an orange creamsicle—a tasty and pretty way to celebrate a summer birthday!

The problem was that I didn't really have any good shoe options. Since orange and its analogues are underrepresented in my shoe collection, I decided the only viable color was off-white. Being 90 degrees outside, it would have been the perfect day for sandals, but alas, I don't have any off-white sandals either (I sense a shopping opportunity!), so my choices quickly narrowed down to my lace pumps—skewing the outfit even farther to the formal, but what other choice did I have? Except maybe gold? I tried on my gold strappy sandals—they imparted a more modern and casual vibe, but they also looked a bit...exotic. "We are going for a little more ladylike and a little less 'Queen of the Fairies,'" I told myself sternly. I set aside the gold shoes and continued looking for accessories.

The more I hunted for cream-colored jewelry, the more I began to despair at my choices—there were none! When I came across this mother-of-pearl butterfly necklace, pretty much the only thing in my collection that qualified as cream, I thought to myself that it certainly looked fairy-like, and suddenly I realized "Queen of the Fairies" was exactly the kind of aesthetic I wanted. What day but your birthday is better suited for indulging your fantasy fantasies?

I donned the butterfly necklace and the golden shoes and flopped onto the bed in exhaustion. My boyfriend who was reposing there commented, "You look like a peach!" His mind apparently went for the most literal interpretation of my predominant color, without grasping the nuances of my sherbet-hued fairy theme, but I wasn't about to argue with his lack of creativity. In fact, I realized, it presented the perfect opportunity for my obligatory OOTD photo—I could pose with my peach tree!

This is probably the best use I'm going to get out of the peach tree this summer, because, in spite of the multitude of fruits growing on its branches, every one of them seems to be infested with worms. I might not get a single edible peach out of this tree, but at least I can get a decent photo-op!