Infinite shoes

This is how you fit 69 pairs of shoes
onto a 36-pair rack!

If you had told me 10 years ago that I'd be a woman with almost 100 pairs of shoes in her room and half again that many hiding away in storage, I would have been appalled. I would have probably also made a conscious effort to avoid going shoe-crazy, just to prove you wrong. Alas, you didn't tell me, so somehow I morphed into that woman.

I read once that the reason some people have so many shoes is the simple human desire to collect things. Even if you never wear them, having a variety of shoes is a pleasure in itself. Or so they say. For my part, the size of my shoe collection is an uncomfortable burden (it literally causes parts of my shoe rack to collapse on about a monthly basis!), and I actually feel a sense of relief whenever I realize I'm ready to retire a pair. Unlike the shoe collectors that other people love to look down on, I actually do wear all of my shoes (sometimes only once a year, but it still counts!). The reason that I have so many of them, I think, is my compulsion to color-coordinate everything.

In my mind, an outfit is a failure if the color of my shoes is not reflected somewhere in my clothing. Consequently, I need shoes to match at least one color in every garment I own. Even though my shoe collection is so large it makes me nervous, I find myself constantly trying to acquire just one more overly specific color of shoe to accessorize a specific outfit—"berry purple sandals" topping my list right now, for example. Wouldn't it be great if I could just have one shoe to match all my color needs?

Well, now I do!

 

 

I ran across these shoes on eBay, and it was commitment-phobic love at first sight! On the one foot (yes, I'm twisting this saying for my own cheesy purposes), they were utterly versatile. With silver heels and clear uppers, they have no real color of their own, enabling you to tie any piece of ribbon through the top and make them whatever color (or pattern!) your heart desires! But on the other foot, they have no ankle straps, meaning they'd flop off with every step, plus they have stubby little kitten heels, which I'm just not into, no matter how many times I get told they're becoming a trend. I left them in my watch list until the listing expired, then when they were re-listed, I finally decided they were too versatile to pass up. After some negotiation, I bought them (and their 9 pairs of included ribbons) for 9 dollars. Not a bad price, considering they could technically replace almost every pair of sandals I own.

The question is, will they? I've already used them as a reason to knock "black sandals, not too high, not flat, more elegant than the Swedish ones" off my shopping list (it would be a long story to explain why I think of one pair of my sandals as "the Swedish ones," but beyond that, you can see why excessive specificity is a real problem for me)! Maybe my next move will be to stop seeking "berry purple sandals" and start shopping for "berry purple ribbon" instead.

Time will tell whether my new pair of all-purpose sandals will help me curtail my shoe shopping, or whether they will just become an excuse to find more shoes like them (next up on my shopping list: "Clear-topped sandals with a higher heel and ankle strap?"). Until then, the only thing that's certain is that my shoe collection has just expanded by one!

P.S. Here's the first outfit I wore them with.

 

I was originally planning a much more boring use of my Summer 2018 uniform, but I just couldn't allow the second-to-last hot day of the year (according to the forecast anyway), to pass without trying something exciting. Fortunately, my multicolored bird dress lent itself well to the wearing of red-ribboned sandals! This outfit actually deserves much more narrative, because I had to get really creative to make it look fitted (add the waist belt) and work-appropriate (cover the shoulders with a vest), but I guess this tiny paragraph will have to suffice!