Sunday, February 19, 2012

Disco Fabulous: Friday's Unfashion

This jade green shirt is the last remaining unworn tops in my collection (I have other tops I have not yet worn for Unfashion a Day, but this one is genuinely new to me), and I was itching to give it a whirl.

I had contemplated wearing it with black pants (remember seeing it as one rejected prospect for the Christmas party?) but decided it would look much nicer paired with white. The reason has to do with the construction of the shirt, and the illusory effect of various colors.

If you look closely at the shirt, you'll see the sleeves are made of lace. The same lace covers the body, but it's also lined inside with a solid fabric. Then the entire multilayered piece is drawn up (by way of ruching) into a series of wrinkles. The effect is to add quite a bit of bulk to the wearer's torso—in simpler terms, the shirt makes me look fat.

Conversely, the black pants, with black's notorious slimming effect, make me look skinny, but a fat torso and a skinny lower half do not contribute to an overall flattering effect. White, on the other hand, would make my lower half look bigger, thus balancing out my appearance.

I tried a long white skirt, but it was too tight at the top and looked awkward. Then I tried a short white skirt, but it made my legs look comparatively scrawny. Finally I realized the solution and this handy  Style Tip: To disguise a chunky upper half, wear white flared pants.

My white flared pants are so long that I was given no recourse but to wear them with – it's true – knee high platform boots. Most sane people would only wear these boots with a 70's Halloween costume, but the Unfashionista dares to test sanity to the limits. Actually, the Unfashionista thought no one would notice the shoes underneath the voluminous pants, but as she was walking into the office, she was greeted with, "I have to say, your shoes are magnificent," from a perfect stranger.

Well, as long as someone liked them!

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