Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Unfashionista Ruminates

I ran across some fashion websites the other day (,,, and they confirmed two things:
  1. My photography is not up to par (what, do all these girls have their own personal photographers?)
  2. My style is not even close to fashionable.
The latter is due, in large part to the following, which was also confirmed by my perusal of the fashion websites: Everything that is currently trendy is ugly as sin! The following is a list of style trends that (despite my fervent hopes) look like they're here to stay.
  1. Baggy tops.

    There was a time in my life when this kind of shirt was all I would wear. Of course, that was before I turned top-heavy and learned that that was not the look for me. Unfortunately, right now it is the look of the masses. Listen, masses. If you're built like a runway model, you can pull off the baggy-shirt look. If you aren't, like 99% of the population, you cannot.
  2. Skinny jeans.
    Much derided in my Fat Day Fashion Review of last year, this type of pants shows no sign of diminishing in popularity. You can still find flared jeans in the stores, but you don't see any of these cutting edge fashion bloggers deigning to wear something so flattering, oh no.
  3. Rather along the same lines as #1, belts worn at the waist.
    I remember those heady days when we wore our pants at the hip and our shirts untucked. It looks like they are gone for the foreseeable future.
  4. Round sunglasses.

    This trend doesn't seem to have yet hit the stores, which are still wallowing in last year's wayfarers, and the previous year's aviators, but they're coming, no doubt about it. As they are yet unavailable but to the privileged few, I have not had the opportunity to try this style on, but I can't imagine it's going to do any favors to my chubby cheeks (as a side note, I tried my aviators on upside-down, and they looked surprisingly good on me! I may have to pursue this further).
These trends have sent me into a fathomless funk. Fashion is my whole reason for blogging! If there's nothing fashionable that suits my taste, what am I going to do!?

The past few days, I've reluctantly tried to sport a few of the above-mentioned trends on my person, with limited success and much depression. Granted, I wasn't able to fully assimilate all the trends, but even my pitiful attempts were downright depressing. I'll show you a few of my efforts in another post.

But in the meantime, here's a comforting thought.This isn't a fashion blog; it's an Unfashion blog! I'm under no obligation to dress trendy! If I don't want to, I don't have to! The same holds true for you.

Remember, ladies and gentlemen, you don't have to be a fashion victim! Style Tip If you want to buck the trends, then buck 'em, by golly! Just be forewarned that you'll have to put a little extra effort into your appearance, to ensure that people know you're not just a lazy slob who got stuck in the last decade.

The upshot to these style websites is they are user-driven. So maybe, just maybe, I can make my minority views heard just enough to turn the tide of fashion back in my direction.

1 comment:

  1. Do your own thing.

    Like Alaska: