What's new, Pegasus?

Galaxy-print clothing has kind of passed its peak, but since it was one of the trends of recent years that I loved the most, I have my fair share of holdovers from its more fashionable days (remember my King Cat tank top and my galaxy cat crop top?), including this Pegasus dress that I got on eBay for just 5$ early last year.

As you well know by now, skin-tight graphic minidresses are not my style, so whenever I wear this dress, I'm always searching for ways to change it up. I've discovered that the best trick for the Pegasus dress is to bunch it up on one side (secured with a safety pin), so that it's got an asymmetrical bottom hem, and then wear it with shorts or pants.

Today I took the asymmetry another step and, wearing my glitter-pocket cutoffs, tucked one pocket up inside while letting the other hang down as designed.

Visible-pocket cutoff shorts are also a bygone in the fashion world, so by this point I was looking especially out-of-touch, and I felt I had to do something to let people know that, no, my passé tank top and shorts do not mean my fashion sense died out three years ago.

So I decided to work in a trend that's so cutting-edge I have yet to see it on a real human being (i.e. not a blogger or a model on some fashion article)—the ribbon choker (worn slightly off-center to keep my asymmetrical theme going). Chokers are in. Chokers are so in, no celebrity could be seen at Coachella without one. But ribbon chokers? They are so of-the-future that no one except die-hard fashionistas have heard of them yet. When he first glimpsed mine, my boyfriend asked, "What happened to your neck?"

Well, whatever. The ignorant among us will always wonder stupid things like what happened to your neck, but the fashionable will just laugh and tell you to wait a few months, and you'll understand.

In any case, I have to say that the ribbon choker is the jewelry trend I've been waiting for all my life. No, chokers don't really flatter my rectangular jaw line, but when you can pull off the latest fashion for free by digging around in your sewing box for a total of one minute, you know you've found a winner.

I accessorized my winner with my aqua heart earrings, which I thought were just small enough that they could hide under my hair so as not to compete with the choker, but just fun and crazy enough that when someone does see them, combined with the purple neck-ribbon and the Pegasus dress and the sequined shorts and the mirrored purple sunglasses (not pictured), they'll know that this whole look is intentionally out-there—not just something I threw together because I haven't done laundry since 2013.

The moral of this story is a
If you know your fashion is not fashionable, make the most of it! This is your opportunity to let your freak flag fly!

Epilogue: In case you missed the significance of today's clever title, the ribbon choker reminds me a little bit of another current trend – the pussycat bow – which of course reminds me of the title of a certain Tom Jones song!