Unfashion a Day, Week 8

Monday
It's the little things

In this photo, I'm looking down at my feet because that's where all the excitement is for this outfit. The dress, which has a bright blue, green, and purple paisley design on black, is pretty exciting, it's true, but I didn't make it. What I did make is the tiny lavender bows that adorn the top of my socks. I constructed them of ribbon and hot glue, and attached them with Res-Q tape. They actually made it through the whole day without falling off, and I think they were a nice addition to what would have otherwise been a very black lower half.

Tuesday
Peace, love, and - gasp! - denim

You might recall this shirt from "Not to Be Confused With Hip" from last spring. It looked a lot cuter with that white skirt when worn with no shoes, but really didn't do it for me when I tried it on again on Tuesday. But I had to wear it with something, so I chose another hippie staple: flared jeans. My black sneakers didn't really enhance the look, but I didn't feel like going too natural in the middle of winter. This was the first time I've worn jeans to the office, and it wasn't even casual Friday! No one said anything, which just goes to show I'm trying too hard.

Wednesday
There's a bug on your head.

Wednesday's evening plans called for ice skating, so I had to plan my outfit accordingly. There would likely be a lot of walking to and from the rink, so flat shoes were a must. Long, loose pants and skirts were out, as they could potentially get caught on the blades of my skates. With these limitations in mind - and a strong yearning to wear my green cropped sweater - I chose combat boots and a short tiered black skirt to go with it. Under the sweater, I wore a black tank top, which essentially blended into the skirt for a solid block of black.

This time I let my flesh-toned leggings be an asset rather than a liability, since they would keep me warm in the breeze that's inherent in any cold-weather activity, but would allow me to keep a bare-legged appearance. While the green sweater is a perfect match for green butterfly earrings, I changed it up this time and wore simple dark green studs, moving the butterfly to the top of my head. The butterfly is actually a brooch, which I secured to a plain silver headband with a rubber band. The loose attachment actually makes it bob up and down slightly, which I think is a nice, lifelike effect!

Thursday
See Last Post

Friday
Prairie Rose

I had planned to wear a sweater dress today, as I've worn one (or at least a very long sweater) every week since Week 2, and wanted to keep up the pattern. But when I read the weather forecast predicting a high of 70 degrees, I knew I had to wear something more summery.

This cute beige blouse is the perfect pairing with this cute brown prairie skirt. The length of the skirt necessitated flat shoes, so I wore a pair of brown flats. All those shades of brown made me feel a little like dirt, so I brightened things up with some pink rose-shaped earrings I'd bought on sale a week ago.

I also experimented with curling my hair in rollers, which produced a nice effect that would have been nicer if half the  hair hadn't fallen out overnight and the other half fallen completely flat in the cold rain that we experienced today instead of the promised 70 degrees. Ugh.

*A NOTE FROM THE UNFASHIONISTA*

Now that the sun is rising earlier, there is too much backlighting on the window where I've been posing for my Unfashion a Day photos, so I've been experimenting with alternate spots and so far not having very much luck. The clutter in the corner where I shot Monday - Wednesday is bothering me, and the lighting in front of the closet where I shot Friday is still bad. I need to find an alternate location for my Unfashion photos, and soon. I'm thinking maybe a dropcloth over my bed or something?

Another thing that I noticed while taking my photos next to my shoe rack is that I have an overabundance of dark neutral shoes. Browns  and blacks, browns and blacks, it was just loaded up with them! So I vowed that I would not buy any more dark neutrals (except for that one pair I got at the thrift store for $4.50 because I couldn't resist), and I would make a concerted effort to bring some colors into my collection. And I succeeded. I found three pairs online for under 20 each, and I'll show them to you as soon as they arrive!

Lady in Zigzags....Or, the Making of Thursday's Unfashion

The skirt I wore on Monday four weeks ago is not one of my favorites. It is the only remaining vestige of my wardrobe during my student teaching days, and you can imagine, in 7 years, I've grown a bit tired of it. I was about to chuck it into the pile of clothes to eBay away, when I realized something: it looks a lot cooler when you turn it inside-out.

Outside of the skirt

Inside of the skirt

You see, the outside isn't much to look at. It consists of a riot of colors, all wound around each other such that they blend together into various shades of murky.

On the inside, however, the colors are cleaner, brighter, and distinct from each other. To me, who chooses bright colors over dull ones any day, the interior is obviously where it's at. It doesn't hurt that the pattern is zigzag rainbow stripes, which were hot, hot, hot this fall!

I was sure I could breathe new life into this skirt if I could just wear it inside out. The only question was....how to do it without looking like some nutso pop star from the early 90's?

There are two major problems with wearing a skirt inside out:

1. The lining will be on the outside
2. The seams will show.

To fix problem #1, the solution is simple enough. You turn the skirt inside out, then you tuck the lining back into the inside. This works because the lining is only attached to the zigzag fabric at the very top. If it were attached at the side seams, we'd have a bigger problem. But, the only problem now is that where the lining does attach at the top, it keeps rolling out and showing itself, as seen in the picture below. Don't worry--we'll fix that problem in a little bit.

Now, on to problem #2! You can see the side seam and the bottom hem in the picture below. I deem the bottom hem acceptable to be viewed just as it is. It gives the skirt a bit of character. But the side seams (the vertical seam in the center of the picture is one of the two) hanging out are a definite no-no.

As in many sewing problems, the first step in the solution is to turn the garment inside out. Or in this case, since inside out is the right side out, turn it right side out instead! Confused yet?

OK, here goes. Turn the skirt back to the way it was originally. Then flip the lining so that it's on the outside, surrounding the rainbow patterned fabric. We're going to sew a new seam over the original side seam, and attach the lining to it in the same step. We could do this without including the lining, but I want this alteration to be temporary and removable, and having the lining between the loose fabric of the crocheted part and our seam is going to make removing the stitches later a bit easier.

But first, let's see what we can do about that rolling top hem. All we have to do is pull the lining down a bit so we can see the skirt fabric behind it. When we turn the skirt back rightside out, the lining will be hiding behind the skirt! I sewed the lining down into submission, as seen in the picture to the left.

For accomplishing this neat bit of stitchery, I owe oodles of credit to Ann Person's Stretch & Sew method, which I discovered in this much aged book from my mother's and grandmother's sewing collection. While it does not enjoy the popularity it did in the 1960's, it does describe one very helpful technique for sewing stretchy materials such as this skirt: Use looooong stitches and stretch the material as you sew it. That will enable it to keep its elasticity even along a straight-stitched seam. If you'd like a copy of Stretch & Sew, you can find it at thrift stores everywhere.

Back to the side seams. Mark your seam with pins, wide enough that the entire original seam is included. I had to make the seam almost an entire inch from the fold, as seen in the picture below. If the fabric looks a little bulgy, that's because the area above the pins holds six layers of fabric! That's one layer of lining on top and on bottom, two layers of skirt between them, and two more layers of skirt (the raw edge of the original seam) sandwiched between everything.

Fortunately, sewing this seam proved to be a breeze. At the bottom hem, I reluctantly stitched through the crocheted fabric, even though I won't enjoy trying to dig out those stitches later, and I left the trailing threads long so I could tie them off.

Here's the finished product, funky bottom hem and all! My only concern is that, since I removed over two inches from the circumference of the skirt, it will be too tight. But there's only one way to find out for sure, and that's to try it on!

Well, I can squeeze it on, but it does taper a bit toward the bottom, and not being a fan of the pencil-skirt look, I don't think I like it much.

Fortunately, an easy fix for a too-tight skirt is to pull it up a little higher! This skirt rides comfortably at the waist, and that's how I wore it on Thursday!

I'd just like to add that I'd bought those red tights thinking I might wear them for Christmas, but I obviously didn't follow through. I'm glad I finally found a use for them, even if that use did involve entirely too much red in one outfit! Next time, I think I'll give the blue sweater another shot. But I swear it looked all wrong when I was trying it on...

Disco Fabulous: Friday's Unfashion

This jade green shirt is the last remaining unworn tops in my collection (I have other tops I have not yet worn for Unfashion a Day, but this one is genuinely new to me), and I was itching to give it a whirl.

I had contemplated wearing it with black pants (remember seeing it as one rejected prospect for the Christmas party?) but decided it would look much nicer paired with white. The reason has to do with the construction of the shirt, and the illusory effect of various colors.

If you look closely at the shirt, you'll see the sleeves are made of lace. The same lace covers the body, but it's also lined inside with a solid fabric. Then the entire multilayered piece is drawn up (by way of ruching) into a series of wrinkles. The effect is to add quite a bit of bulk to the wearer's torso—in simpler terms, the shirt makes me look fat.

Conversely, the black pants, with black's notorious slimming effect, make me look skinny, but a fat torso and a skinny lower half do not contribute to an overall flattering effect. White, on the other hand, would make my lower half look bigger, thus balancing out my appearance.

I tried a long white skirt, but it was too tight at the top and looked awkward. Then I tried a short white skirt, but it made my legs look comparatively scrawny. Finally I realized the solution and this handy  : To disguise a chunky upper half, wear white flared pants.

My white flared pants are so long that I was given no recourse but to wear them with – it's true – knee high platform boots. Most sane people would only wear these boots with a 70's Halloween costume, but the Unfashionista dares to test sanity to the limits. Actually, the Unfashionista thought no one would notice the shoes underneath the voluminous pants, but as she was walking into the office, she was greeted with, "I have to say, your shoes are magnificent," from a perfect stranger.

Well, as long as someone liked them!

Unfashion a Day, Almost Week 7

I'm posting this week's Unfashion a day early, because I don't expect to have the time to do it tomorrow.

Monday
Suited Up

A funny thing happens at my office. Whatever I'm wearing on a given day, this other lady is also wearing. I wear a sweater, she wears a sweater...I wear a blouse, she wears a blouse. On Monday, I decided to wear this outfit which bears a susupicious resemblance to a suit (but for the fact that the top and the skirt were not sold together and only happen to match by a kind twist of fate, and the fact that the electric blue tank top I wore underneath was far too electric for your run-of-the-mill suit). No one in my office ever wears a suit. Yet on Monday, the other lady wore a suit, too! Weird.

Tuesday
My Forgetful Valentine

In my rush to get ready for my big Valentine's Day, I forgot many things, one of which was to take photos for this blog! You'll have to use your imagination in conjunction with these terrible cell phone shots to get an idea of how I looked in my fuchsia sweater dress, black leggings, and black shoes.

Wednesday
The Outdoorsy Type

For the past 2 years or so, this dark green shirt has been one of my favorites, yet for some reason, I managed to go through nearly 7 weeks in my Unfashion a Day project before wearing it! And when I did wear it, I was overcome by the feeling that it was too boring. Worn with brown pants and brown clogs, it certainly makes for an all-over dark outfit. So I brightened it up with a light-colored scarf with natural prints. I completed the natural look with some earrings in the shape of leaves.

Thursday
Grey Dress for a Grey Day

The weather forecast said rain, so I felt compelled to dress in dreary clothes. OK, to be honest, it's just that this grey striped shirt is one of the last remaining tops that I haven't already worn for this project, and I wanted to get it out there. I had just bought some grey leggings, and the boots were new, too. I got them for a steal, at 10$ on clearance, but I paid dearly for them anyway—rather than paying for home delivery, I had them shipped to a store, but the store I wanted was not available due to a website glitch, so I had them shipped to a farther away store, then when I got there, I had to wait nearly 20 minutes for some high-maintenance lady to finish her transaction which involved a plethora of questions. I think my twenty minutes plus travel time plus fare back home were probably worth the 7$ shipping, and then some. And for all that, the boots are kind of funny looking. I'm not sure I'll find many good ways to wear them.

Unfashion a Day, the Rest of Week 6

Wednesday
Business on the Bottom, Party on Top
Wednesday, I wore that cream sweater I had washed so lovingly a few days ago. Honestly, I don't know how to wear this sweater. It's long enough to be worn like a tunic, but it kind of shows everything right through it when I do that, so I chose instead to let it ride up and wrinkle. You can see it wasn't exactly opaque even the way I wore it. If I had a long white tank top to wear under it, it might work.

You'll have to excuse the hair. Since my new haircut is so determinedly not wash and go, I've had to get creative with my daily style. Today I'm wearing a modified "scrunched' look. Since my hair is so blasted straight and fine, it requires a ton of mousse to give it any semblance of texture, and I must keep it clipped up until the last possible moment to delay gravity's inexorable work.

In case you were curious, here's the result, along with a great view of the huge chandelier earrings I wore to make up for the rather boring set of clothes underneath them. In spite of my best efforts, the hair had fallen into a state best described as "scruffy" by quitting time. While it was still in its prime, however, I got my first two compliments from my coworkers, proving that while the style needs work (especially with respect to the bangs), it has potential!

Thursday
The Coldest Eskimo

Finally! The day had arrived when I had a chance to wear the brown dress with the brown snow boots! I couldn't do it Wednesday because I had to repair a hole in the sleeve before I could wear it.

But Thursday was it. The dress comes with a scarf, which you can only see a bit of around my neck.

I wore a pair of leggings which I had thought were light brown when I bought them, but were actually the same color as my legs! I felt this was problematic, since some people might assume I was actually not wearing leggings and find the short length of the dress offensive (I really don't remember it being this short. It must have shrunk the last time I washed it)...but I wore it anyway. And today I bought some real brown leggings so it won't happen again.

With mukluks on my feet and these carved bone earrings on my ears, I felt like I was emanating some serious Inuit vibes, though what self-respecting Alaskan would ever go around in a deep-v-necked minidress, I'll never know!

Friday
Time Traveler
Since I'd worn pants two days this week, and the previous day I'd worn a dress, Friday's only option was a skirt and top, and the only skirt I felt like wearing was the homemade salmon one.

The shoes are in the 40's style, the shirt is in the 70's style, the necklace is actually from the 60's (the genuine article! It belonged to my grandma. I am waiting nervously for the moment when the ancient string breaks and beads go rolling everywhere), and later in the day, I had the idea to tie it in a knot, 20's style, and the skirt is some concoction out of my own head which was at least influenced by 2000's style, so I dare say this outfit was an example of creative anachronism at its finest.

Hello, Sailor Or, a drawn-out tale of Tuesday's Unfashion

It was another one of those days when I have to change my plans at the last minute. I spent Monday evening planning a brown dress with the brown snow boots, then when I read the forecast for rain Wednesday, I decided I should save them for that dreary weather. Before going to bed, I chose an all-brown ensemble, but while in bed, I realized that my planned outfit for Wednesday was also all brown, so that would never do!

In a semi-somnolent state, I remembered the white pants that had been on hold for so long and vowed to wear them the next day. I had been planning this outfit for a long time—the white pants, the purple sweater, and the cute new shoes that I hadn't been able to wear with anything since I bought them a month ago! One of the nice things about having a desk job is you aren't continually breaking your fingernails. I had been planning to paint my nails with the new mauve polish that I'd gotten in the same shopping trip as the peacock ring, whenever I wore this outfit.

Unfortunately, with only 20 minutes to get ready on Tuesday, I had to forgo the polish. I also had to do something about my hair, stat! Normally I blow-dry my hair at night, and it still looks good in the morning. This new haircut, while it looks cute in a ponytail and decent right after blowdrying, doesn't hold up overnight--as I discovered this morning when all the strands were sticking out at weird angles and the top was bulging strangely. I wet it down, blew it out, and crossed my fingers as I dashed for the bus.

Ouch! They said these were a 9!
Anyone know how to stretch out a pair of shoes,
cause I'm certainly not getting rid of them!

My new shoes are too small! And the hair definitely needs a touch-up.

But I have to say, the white pants are great. Not too long ago, I was browsing half-heartedly at one of those yuppie shops like Banana Republic or something (my boyfriend dragged me there – isn't that a role reversal – because he likes expensive clothes) when I saw a girl in the most amazing pants I'd ever seen. They were snug at the top, but started to flare slightly above the knee into a dramatically wide bell bottom. I desperately wanted some, but being me, was much too shy to ask where she'd gotten them.

Then, not 20 minutes later, I found that exact same style at Old Navy! Sailor pants, the cashier called them. Now they are mine, they are white, and I wear them proudly months before Memorial Day.

What's the Ruche? Or, a shortening trick for when time is short

It all began with one ring.

I do not normally wear rings, on account of my blatantly knobby knuckles (any ring that fits over the joint is far too loose around the base of my finger, and I just hate those adjustable rings), but I have noticed recently a number of ostentatious rings for sale with elastic bands that I believe would be quite compatible with my finger anatomy. This peacock ring was part of a 5-for-10 sale at Claire's, so I bought it and waited eagerly for the chance to let it shine (It doesn't really shine, as you see, it is made of an antiqued brass that might even be described as dull).

It was 2 weeks ago when I realized I could wear it with my asymmetrical green skirt and a blue top and pull off one peacock of an analogous color scheme...but I had to give the skirt a little more breathing time after its last big appearance, so I waited til this week.

When I tried the outfit on Sunday night, I discovered to my horror that the shirt was too long and looked awful with the midlength skirt! Normally when an article of clothing is too long, I'll hem it, with either thread or Res-Q Tape, depending on whether I want the change to be permanent or temporary, but this shirt was too thin, stretchy, and long to look good with that sort of treatment.

Fortunately, fashion is on my side, and the ruched look is in.

If you're wondering what "the ruched look" is, you can see it already on the neckline and the ends of the sleeves, where the fabric has been bunched together to create wrinkles or waves.*

I am going to ruche the sides of this top and, in so doing, bring up the bottom hem by a few inches! For this project, you'll need nothing more than a hand needle and thread!

1. To start, turn the top inside out.
   
   
2. Pick a spot on the side seam where you want the top of the ruching to start, and another spot where you want it to end. Cut a piece of thread several inches longer than that and thread the needle.
   
   
3. Put the needle in at the top of your intended ruched area and tie a secure knot. The entire weight of your shirt is going to be pulling on that knot, so don't be skimpy. Double it or triple it. Tug lightly on the thread to make sure it doesn't slip out of the fabric.
   
   
4. Then, using the simple over-under stitch you probably learned in first grade, sew down the length of the seam until you've reached the intended end point.
   
   
    
5. Holding onto the fabric at the end point, pull on the loose end of the thread. Your fabric will begin to bunch up near the top.
   
   
   
6. When you have shortened the length to your liking, tie off the thread, as close to where it exits the fabric as possible. For this shirt, I used a knot, but I now prefer to use a twist tie because it is so easy to undo! Simply wrap the thread around the twist tie a bunch of times, then wrap the ends of the twist tie around the thread. It is unlikely to slip, but if you want to undo it at the end of the day, or you have ruched too much and you need to lengthen the seam again, all you need to do is untwist and let out some of the thread! True, a twist tie is a little bulky, but since you've created so much texture with the ruching, people are unlikely to see one little lump under your shirt.
   
   
7. Distribute the wrinkles evenly down the length of the thread.
   
   
8. Repeat these steps for the other side seam.
   

And you're done! Wear with pride, but wear with care! Normally, ruching is done with elastic strips, and the fabric is firmly sewn onto the elastic. In our simpler solution, all that's holding the look together is a strand of thread. If you break the thread, you're doomed! Or maybe just set back a little. One of my knots came out while I was at work today, but I noticed it early enough that I didn't lose all the ruching. And that's when I discovered the twist tie method.

You may also find that your ruching succumbs to gravity, slipping down to the bottom of the strand of thread over time, so periodic redistributing of the wrinkles may be in order.

*If you're astute, you're thinking back to my post about the brown dress, and wondering what's the difference between "gathers," which I denounce because they're unflattering, and "ruches" which I find most helpful? Well, I'm not a fashion dictionary, but to my best knowledge, gathers are usually used as a sort of structural feature, to create a transition between a wide area with a lot of fabric to a narrow one with a little fabric, whereas ruches are generally a cosmetic feature, serving no practical purpose but to add texture to a seam. According to this definition, I may be more correct in saying the sleeves and neckline are gathered rather than ruched.

Unfashion a Day, Week 5

Monday

I'd been fighting it, but I decided it was time to give in and wear the hippie skirt. This brown tiered broomstick skirt used to be one of my favorite articles of clothing, but I never liked the length, and now it's getting a little worn. I'm tired of it, but I bring it out every once in a while just for the memories. I paired it with a fuzzy white sweater and a pair of ladylike brown shoes.

Tuesday

Forget everything I said about belts. This sweater dress came with a big black belt, and after giving it a try, I really like it. In fact, I daresay this is my new favorite dress.

Wearing it with my rock star boots and my new haircut, I felt like a million bucks (but it only cost me seven! Clearance for the win)!

Dangly black floral earrings completed the look, but I don't know if anyone saw them (such is a hazard of wearing your hair down).

Wednesday

Following my attempt at the bombshell look Tuesday, I toned it down Wednesday and played the classic Girl Next Door in khakis, a casual top, flat shoes, and a ponytail.

Thursday

Don't you hate it when you have your outfit all planned out, and then realize at the last minute it's not going to work? That's what happened to me on Thursday. I like to select my daily outfit the night before, so I'm not rushed in the morning. Wednesday night, I picked out this cute hemp-fiber skirt with a seagull screen print, a green knit top, and a pair of grey knee socks. Thursday morning, I put them on and realized the colors didn't work together at all! So I fell back on an old Unfashionista standby—everything in shades of the same color.
The skirt is basically tan (you may get away with calling it "French grey") and the screen print is straight grey. So I traded up the green top for a grey one. Now the cool grey in my socks clashed with the warm grey in my sweater, so I changed the grey knee socks for ones in a different shade of tan with grey piping.

A change of socks

I was unhappy to have to wear my knockabout tennis shoes since they're so ugly and stained (but grey), but fortunately I keep a pair of grey and tan flats at work (for running to the bus) so I put those on when I arrived.

A change of shoes

Friday

To finish off the week in style, I returned to those grey pants that fit so well and reluctantly wore my grey ankle boots underneath them. Reluctantly because, even though I adore looking like a fashion plate (or some kind of human giraffe) in my outrageously tall shoes, my feet were still sore from walking around all evening in Tuesday's boots. But sometimes we must suffer to be beautiful.

Today was Wear Red Day, in honor of women's heart health, and it just so happens that my red, crystal-studded sweater looks great with grey pants! On my ears, I wore a pair of earrings made from recycled Coke cans, which were awesome until I broke one of them shortly after breakfast. I spent the rest of the day bending and re-bending the wires in an attempt to keep them on and visible.

Give that sweater a bath!

Last Thursday, a wonderful thing happned—I found a beautiful cream sweater at Rugged Wearhouse for only three dollars (Reasons like that are why Rugged Wearhouse is rapidly becoming my favorite place to shop)! I didn't try it on, because it was a size medium by KIKIT, which just happens to be the exact size and brand of the teal sweater I love so much, and I was in a hurry to make it to Arlington for Board Game Night.

Immediately after that, a sad thing happened—I waited at the bus stop for almost 45 minutes (it should have only been 6) and had to skip out on board game night since I was so late, following which, I arrived home and discovered why the sweater had been marked down so low. It had a grayish line running straight across the front, as if it had been draped over a particularly dusty closet bar, or some enterprising geometry student had taken a pencil to it.

Please note the price tag which originally
valued this item at 28 dollars!

It looked like a careful hand-washing would probably clean the stain right out, and I had skipped board game night, so I had plenty of time to do it—the only problem was...I despise getting wet! Now, I shower every day and think nothing of it, but when it comes to kneeling over a bathtub, splashing water all over myself and my clothes (not to mention getting up close and personal with the dog hair and housemate hair that always seems to be clumped all over every corner in the bathroom), I get a little repulsed.

The solution? Take a shower with the sweater! I accomplish two missions in one, and don't have to worry about getting intimate with the bathroom floor!

If you hate water like me, or have avoided hand-washing your laundry for any number of other sensible reasons, let this be your introduction to a rather unconventional method for getting the job done!

1. Carry your sweater into the tub and drape it over the curtain rod while you take care of your personal cleanliness. If you need to let your conditioner sit a few minutes before rinsing, washing a sweater is a perfect way to while away that time!
   
2.  Plug the drain.
   
3. Dump your sweater unceremoniously on the tub floor and allow it to get thoroughly saturated.
   
4. Squeeze a little bit of shampoo onto the stain and gently rub it in. I use Infusium Repairologie, which would probably be greatly beneficial if my sweater were wool, but probably won't harm the acrylic either.
   
5. Repeat this until the stain is removed. This particular stain only took one try, but others may require a bit more attention.
   
6. By this time, you should have a goodly amount of water in the tub, so if you want to wash the whole sweater rather than just spot-treat it, you can simply add more shampoo and knead it into the sweater on the floor of the tub.
   
7. Rinse. You can do this by holding the sweater under the running water OR, if you have skipped step six, you can swish the sweater around in the standing water to disperse the soap.
   
8. Squeeze dry gently, but don't twist, unless you want your sweater to be all deformed afterward! Don't worry about getting it bone-dry in this step, because you're going to use a towel to finish the job.
   
9. Exit the tub (Don't forget to rinse out that conditioner!) and dry yourself off, but don't put away the towel! You'll need it in Step 10!
   
   I'll pause here in case you want to get dressed before moving on to the next step.
   
10. Lay the towel flat on the floor and lay the sweater on top of it.
    
11. Roll up the towel with the sweater inside it. When it is completely rolled into a log, walk all over it to squeeze more water out of the sweater into the towel.
    
12. Unroll and let the sweater air dry. If the label says it's dryer-safe, you can pop it in there, but that wastes energy, and if any of the stain does remain, you run the risk of baking it in permanently. I always use a drying rack, because it prolongs the life of delicate synthetic materials.

Look ma, no lines!